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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Gnomes Are Not Dwarves

Sir Ian McKellen has a blog on which he tells about his observations, like now, working on The Hobbit. His blog had a blogpost in which the phrase ´gnomes are not dwarves´ appeared. I wondered why he would educate his followers, of which a substantial number might know him from Lord Of The Rings already.
I have a clue. Thanks to my speculative brain and that Extras clip, links at end of this post, I imaged a scene like below. You can read that Sir Ian McKellen is shortened as IK and Richard Armitage as RA and the whole thing is intended as a jest. As much as this is my rough idea of the conversation and you all want to spit on it send lovely replies, I safely call this a draft version:

Again: draft version!


Ian McKellen sits, reading. Richard Armitage approaches and joins Sir Ian.

RA: Hi.
IK: Ah, ´Thorin´! How´s preparations going?
RA: Fine, thanks. I understand you maintain a blog.
IK: Blog. Website. Website. Blog. Whatever. So, you´ve seen it, have you? And, like it?
RA: Yes, it´s great, but I come to that later... As I´m new here and signed this  - fist-thick - Hobbit contract - you know it, obviously -
IK: Hm-mm. Mine´s a meter!
RA: I wondered - as you have this - website - how you can post about your observations regarding The Hobbit?
IK: Well, I can - and that´s the joy of it! Why?
RA: I don´t have a blog and don´t want to start it, or be on Facebook or Twitter..
IK: Oh, come on! You do have something?
RA: Yeah, email, but that´s about it. The thing is - my agent recommends - for now - to keep my head down and stick to participating to Sir Peter´s videoblogs -
IK: Ah, yes. Peter And His Videoblogs.
RA: So I would like to ask you to put something for me on your blog. Very informative by the way.
IK: Years of experience!
RA: Blogging? Congratulations!
IK: Well -
RA: It will only be one thing. Allow me to explain. My fans - I hate that word - they´re overall lovely, and a surprising lot very creative - and bright -
IK: Hm-mm. Males or females?
RA: They say they´re women.
IK: Males are the worst! I deal with male fans most of the times. However, never mind, continue.
RA: The one thing they didn´t have to do extensive research for - as I have done, munching over the tiniest details, and they notice everything -
IK: Are you sure they´re not males?
RA: Is to relate Thorin, the Dwarfleader - and his dwarves - to gnomes!
IK: And - gnomes are not dwarves?
RA: Exactly! But they keep doing it. See this cartoon??

IK: Hm. Yes. That´s serious.
RA: It´s just that I don´t want to exclude my fandom from vital information.
IK: I´ll see what I can do.
RA: Thanks! Don´t tell them it was from me, though!
IK: Your fans will probably mock up this conversation as well and talk about it.
RA: By that time there will be something else!


Normally I would not ever do real fiction, but this RA drought forces me to.
Hope I still have your respect. *ducks*

You don´t have to worry.
This post gave sparkles to new ideas.
And I read The Hobbit now, finally!

http://www.mckellen.com/cinema/hobbit-movie/blog.htm see ´March 31, 2011: Gandalf Is Tested´
I posted my gnomes/dwarves cartoon on February 20, 2011 in ´Fanstrafaganza Cartoons´.
I´m not alone in this. I know that Servetus showed gnomes on her blog too, in between these posts.


Traxy said...


Anonymous said...

Hilarious - just what I needed at the end of a rather long day at work!

Violet said...

Thanks, Traxy and Suse!

What should I do with my gnomes now? They pout and make a mess of my garden. I will organise a re-enactment of The Hobbit to keep them happy!

Phylly3 said...

Very funny! :D I am also guilty of using a garden gnome to portray a dwarf. But in my defense it's because there are so few representations of dwarves out there!
I must read that post by IM now. Thanks for the link!
Oh, you read The Hobbit too! Can't wait to hear what you think of it!

Violet said...

Thanks, Philly for backing me up! Artistic freedom, that´s what it is!

My notions of The Hobbit are posted per chapter on Twitter with tag #hobbitread. I will collect them in a post.