Dark Side Of A Berlin Station Fangirl

A spy never comes clean. Unless it is a fangirl. 

My spy codename is Soft Face, for reasons Eye Ball can only guess...

My family worries about me, because ONE blogpost about 'your friend' RA is understandable, but MULTIPLE blogposts???? Real friends left me for same reasons, so the road is clear to go spying...
I hang out with fangirls on different 'platforms' who form 'communities' in pseudonimity.

It is great that RA does another spy show (don't mention Lucas North in Spooks/MI5) and it is nice that he filmed it in Berlin instead of London for a change.

I was hesitant of pre-early reporting any reviews. As 'test audience' I could have revealed spoilers/ intel. I watched the first two episodes (1rst. twice, 2nd. once) which were temporarily available online, before they became 'area restricted' (many fangirls are 'area limited').

I was happy to have watched the promo talks. I found out that the Berlin Station makers had private jokes about the 'Armitage Army' which they didn't want to share. Maybe it had to do with the reputation of RA's fandom. (Where to find them is where they were looking. On Twitter.) Fact, I dropped two Berlin Station Cartoons on Twitter. (My bold and naughty Geist was back again. That is a good sign). Of course this is very egotistical and insecure thinking, very much along the lines of fangirl behaviour. I could have made some 'casualties' in my enthousiasm...

To mock this further:

"The much feared reputation of RA's fandom reached a new low, 

for he had to apologize profusely to his fellow BS colleagues, 

and company line was to ignore these cartoons on Twitter in loud unisolo silence." 

"Now THAT's what I call a fangirl."

(Choice of pic, gesture and calendar moment very intentional, clue-worthy fangurl blogmanship).

Good writing is uncomfortable. Shakespeare wrote Real Fiction. I might have embarrassed some.

The Berlin Station spy looking great.

RA is having great fun promoting this show. 

P.S. 

In reality I am a follower.

Feel free to come back to this blog and read my other great posts.

Note to EPIX:

The world is big. It is not only US of A. 

Overseas fangirls would love to see Berlin Station. Immediately. And talk about it together.

At the moment however, EPIX is rarer to find on digiboxes than RA pics on the web. 

Please, sell this show overseas.

Images: Berlin Station promotion material

What If I Wrote A Prelude

"The desolation of a blogger, more likely..."

 

Prelude

 

The Hobbit Desolation of Smaug is out on DVD. For months I was Lost In Mirkwood. I could make a cartoon of that, but then I would give things away that should be kept [private]. Then the only post I could write, was full of bad ranting. Re-reading it, I thought it's a good thing RA doesn't have an online diary. Consider it a 'what if'-prelude to my impressions of that movie.

 

After arriving in a warm and fussy place called 'RA drought' and being sure that the whole world has seen TH DoS by now (I contacted those who haven't with fierce fan loyalty to make sure) to avoid publishing any spoilers, and boy did I avoid spoilers, read all here, haha not), it feels safe to finally (yes, I can hear your sighs) let the dragon out (read: to post my impressions on this second part). However, my hesitations to say anything about it, got wings as big as a dragon (the Bard will open an all-you-can-eat-dragon-wings diner in Lake-Town in part three, but that's still up for grasps for pick-ups in May, when the cast and crew will film (latest plug instructions said 'voice') 'additional battle scenes'. Read between the lines, the Lake-Town people were starving of hunger, remember?). Mind boggling goes on like that, but that's entirely why the makers of The Hobbit movie so elegantly made use of other books (because it was not enough to film so Tolkien's footnotes had to be intertwined,  yet make Thorin the Dwarfleader not a leading character, although he has the most words in this movie?! Hello #teamrichard). They also forgot to tell class actors, not to look like intellectuals, or worse, Tolkien Purists (no war references or Christian connotations, either, thank you very much (sic)), because it would make superficial fans of a sexy dwarf look like gushy no-brainers who would divert to #teamhiddleston or #cumberbitches to hide that (or worse, turn #hobbit). It would grace the movie makers more, if the movie was introduced as 'Inspired by Tolkien's works' (but what do I know). And why was there no appeal for fans to submit their TH reviews this time around on The One Ring Net? (I feel used, because I've done my duty). Because previous comments were used to make 'part two' more action packed? And why did the Extended Edition gave proof that at least eight movies could be made out of all the material that was filmed? Even excluding the bathing-in-fountain scene instead of the book's washing-in-river scene? So fans would not rage (be happy with audition clips) over the fact that a bunch of actors were Method-ly challenged (read: held captive) in Wellywood for 18 months (like LOTR)? 'Whatever happens in The Hobbit, stays in The Hobbit' didn't stand (whatever happens on Twitter, stays on Twitter, or Tumblr etc.). Thankfully, we learn from director Sir Pete that if an actor wants to have a scene cut, all they have to do is to steal something big from the set, like Smaug's head (smart mention of 'socks' to save scenes!).  Basically,  I loathed to be sent into a lonely mountain to do a dirty job.

 

P.S. This BS continues... Read below how you can obtain my cute Weta statue and sexy bed covers.

 

 **

Disclaimer:

1. Ranting, because one day it would end up in my memoirs anyway.

2. Blog fear of writing an intelligent review, thanks to my well-read Tolkien notes.
3. I was Lost In Mirkwood. That is [private], I deny talking about it here, but gossip is there.

*****
I bow in shame for Thorin as this post is not so usually funny.
My readers will hopefully understand.
 *****
 

 Image: French Hobbit Character Poster of Thorin Oakenshield



Interviewer Charged With Dragon Sickness

"Dragon sickness cannot be spread by kissing!"
Yeah, right! ;)

Thanks to my personal dragon sickness called ´hobbit overload´,
and the gnomes being away on re-enactment Hobbit tour,
in halfnaked, body painted shape, because it´s crisis,
I totally missed an interview with
Thorin Oakenshield!

***********

You´re in Wellington now. What do you think of this place?

TO: Windy. I met this Dream Catcher - a Film Maker - who provided us quarters, in exchange for us running along green walls for so many days. He doesn´t talk to us much, but when he said: ´Do you have another take in you?´, I nearly vomited. I suffer from dragon sickness, for goodness sake!

How did you get here?

TO: We! After 266 days of working hard to get one backpacking Human Male out of Middle Earth.

And by ´we´ you mean?

TO: My group of Dwarfs, me and this Human.

You mean Richard Armitage. What was he like when you met him?

TO: Really bad mannered. He didn´t have a beard at first. Why don´t you have a beard?

I´m Human too and Female.

TO: Ah! He offered us some leftover wine which he had in his rucksack. Then he had the nerve to share trivialities about me in public, in front of my group of Dwarfs.

Like what?

TO: You really want to know, do you? Fine. He mentioned my family history, my personal habits and my tumultuous love life, or lack of. The last ones were awkward, because I know for sure I don´t have that kind of information registered in the ancestry annals of my Kingdom. So I became very fishy whereof these stories came.

You made him sign a contract?

TO: I hate whiners. I had to put up travelling with one Hobbit once.

To my knowledge it was Bilbo the Hobbit who wrote it all in his journals.

TO: That stay-at-home impostor! Urged us to give him the best adventures, so that he had something to tell these lazy Hobbits when he came home! Now I get it!

It was Gandalf the wizard who brought you together?

TO: Huh! Divided my group of Dwarfs, more likely! Gandalf disappeared constantly, because of his horrible knowledge of group dynamics! That children´s book was written afterwards, remember?

Tolkien? He was known to make or break worlds.

TO: Don´t mock with those notions! I suspect Baggins to have written that historically incorrect book.

Back to Richard. In interviews he mentioned finding you was like working his majestic muscle.

TO: Working?? You know what, he came to know me, when we found him lost in Mirkwood - which I can´t talk about...

You just did...

TO: Because his career people won´t allow me to - so he should not moan.

He´s not moaning. He seems to know you like he was your friend.

TO: Did he? Fair enough, I didn´t let protocol get in the way. What I wanted to say was, he´s a very poor fighter. He wanted - you won´t believe me when I tell you this - he wanted us Dwarfs to train him for the Battle of The Five Armies. Pure suicide! So hours and hours of training went into that poor fellow. I even lend him my sword. And how did he respond? He sat down with his eyes closed. Yoga, he called it! Did he thank me when we saved him from the Giant Spiders - which I can´t talk about, because of his career people? I ignored him like I ignore Hobbits!

You hugged him like you hugged a Hobbit.

TO: Well, yes. There you have your majestic muscle. And now, he´s calling me his friend?

You´re his friend and more than that, you wouldn´t leave him.

TO: Alright, I am staying with him. You know what, we even swapped places, so he´s is me and I am him for some time until August, or that´s what we let the press believe you!

So am I talking to Thorin or Richard now? * eyes at PR woman who nods *

TO: For the record, it´s Thorin. * eyes back at PR woman to end this interview *

If so, this interview with you could become legit.

TO: I offered to deal with his fans for him, but he wouldn´t let me. Said I wouldn´t pay respect to Human Females! Of course not, you don´t have beards! But for you I can change... Human Princess, wouldn´t you like to know that dragon sickness cannot be spread by my kissing...??

Err....

Conclusion: don´t believe the book.

** This is a fake interview **

(Yes, I know it´s not what you expected)

Image: oakenbutt tumblr (well, that´s what the image said)

Not Quite An Interview With A Dwarfleader

A smiling Dwarfleader promoting Captain America after filming block 1 of The Hobbit.

The Framework Blog caught up with Mr. A on an imaginary level in cyberspace to hook up answers for those much plagued questions RA followers' minds are mucked with.

We don't hear a lot from you these days. Maybe it's for the best. Do your research on the Net, Miss.. what's it, again? Violet. Okay, it's my alter ego, and we're in cyberspace so...

How's your beard hanging? "I grew my own beard after the first block because I felt that it was restricting my face. The jaw is so connected to emotion that I wanted to have that free. It made such a huge difference." Why don't you quote me some more? MTV.com, Jan 11, 2012

Are you not too young and too handsome to be a Dwarfleader? Should the cast of The Hobbit Movie include handsome actors? To have them covered in fat suits, prosthetics and heavy beards? Is the cast diverse enough? Is Thorin not too young? Are women Hobbit fans? I'm finding these questions so funny. The extents of these talks... reminds me to focus on my acting.  TheOneRingNet, Dec 8, 2010

The Hobbit set in Nelson, December 2011 (source protected)

How is your typical day on the set? I can't reveal details yet. However, I'm proud to say, my short appearance as Thorin in The Hobbit Teaser is already perceived as 'Aragorn's stand-in', see podcast. Back in the days of LOTR, my predecessor if you like, Viggo Mortensen ran errands, and he got the role because another actor was fired after just one day on the set. Sofar so good for me. A day in the life of the LOTR, ABC News, Dec 4, 2004

Has Peter Jackson seen your showreel? Not during the casting process, but on set he might surprise actors by mentioning he has seen your previous work, of which he doesn't say it was your worst, to put you in place, but he doesn't exactly say it was your best, either. He is also known to have a lot of books, mostly about The Hobbit and LOTR. My stash of books at my bedsite looks meagre in comparison. There And Back Again, excerpt Sean Austin, ABC News, Oct 14, 2004

How is Peter Jackson really treating you? Holy crap, this man eats you alive! Brain Dead, 1992

Top photo Mike Warsland/WireImage, Jul 20, 2011, adjusted by TheFrameworkBlog

Another Profile The Women Adore

HOLLYWOOD - If you are a man and had the chance to visit Miramar’s Stone Street Studios when "The Hobbit" was being produced you would no doubt have been much more interested in how the picture was being shot, than in the personality of the star.

On the other hand, if you are a woman or a girl, it would be Richard Armitage you would be most interested in seeing.

I must confess that this clash of interest as displayed by the opposite sexes is not from personal observation.

That is what the guides at the studio told me - and they ought to know.

In fact, he so impressed the ladies by his gallantry of manner and courtly charm - two attributes by the way which were his great assets - that they began to pester the officials unmercifully.

Hence a ban on visitors for the rest of the production period.

None of this adulation, however, affected Richard Armitage. He carried on as usual, debonair, charming, always letter-perfect and in his usual high spirits.

However, the women who did manage to meet Richard Armitage in the early stages of the production were clearly pleased by his attention and all of them came away with the impression that he was their favorite actor.

In fact, he flattered them more than they did him.

In this picture he had keen competition - Orlando Bloom, Elijah Wood, Aidan Turner and Benedict Cumberbatch are in the cast - and he worked exceptionally hard to give of his best.

For several days he was trussed to a pony. Nothing about him could move except for his eyes.

Peter Jackson, who directed and produced the film, was finally moved to remark, "Looks as though we've got him where he'll behave at last."

To which the cameraman remarked, "That's what you think. Richard can do more with his eyes than most people, and if you look through the camera you'll see he's pinching the scene."

Film fans have alot of knowledge about starts. Most of his American visitors knew he was born in England and that he joined the circus in his determination become an actor.

Many of the visitors to "The Hobbit" asked when he expected to sing in a picture. He merely said he had no plans for singing on the screen, although he is to portray the life story of Thorin Oakenshield, leader of a group of singing Dwarves, in his upcoming picture.

It was his singing ability, however, which got him back into a singing role, having performed in musical theatre in England.

For several years he appeared on English television in several tv series, Robin Hood, Spooks and Strike Back.

Literally "tall, dark and handsome" Armitage seems to have all it takes to make an idol on the screen. Women talk about him and when they talk to him he has the ability to make every one of them think he has eyes and ears for her alone.

Yet their menfolk don't object for they recognize in his easy-going manner, friendly attitude and ready wit that he is also a "man's man."

**this is a fake article**

A scan of the original article published in Picturegoer, February 17, 1945, can be found on http://www.carygrant.net/articles/profile.htm

The rights of above picture of Richard Armitage are with Recognize Magazine/Daniel Higgins,

in classic Hollywood look photoshopped and cropped by The Framework Blog 

Dwarves Are Not Gnomes

Dwarf Thorin as Gnome Richard

The gnomes in my cartoon, who were previously pouting and making a mess of my back garden, being ignored as casting material for Dwarves, were busy playing a re-enactment of The Hobbit, when they heard disturbing news, yet also uplifting, about some wannabe gnomes playing the fool for charity goal Rise Up Christchurch.

The Union Of Legimate And Honorable Gnomes had set up a statement which reads as follows:
(I had to enlarge it to read it).

"The Union Of Legimate And Honorable Gnomes wishes to declare to be saddened by the misrepresentation of gnomes in a Hobbit trailer. Although we considerately and carefully try to understand the popularity of pretending to be or being a Legimate And Honorable Gnome, we cannot include everyone of our height and beardsize into our Union. Acknowledged Legimate And Honorable Gnomes nurture nature, mumble in their beards and are called Gnome, son of Garden. Therefore we cannot agree with the representation of Dwarves pretending to be Gnomes as given."

A spokesperson said, when asked about the implications of the statement, "Once we´re back on speaking terms with Hobbitwood, we will take our statement into consideration."

Hope you understand I have to find my way out of Milkwood Mirkwood soon!
I intend to put my #hobbitread tweets in a post, eventually.

Good to see The Hobbit is filmed within budget!

Looking forward to it even more!

Oh, and I hoped for a Dwarves´ song!
I came close, didn´t I?

Check out Servetus´ (Me+RichardArmitage) and RAFrenzy´s posts
with ´Informal Fan Challenge´ on giving donations to this charity.

Found fascinating gif on RAlfieism´s blog.

Dwarf Thorin RA has sent a Hobbital Thank You on 29th May 2011.

Find out about the cello playing request by Calexora on Befuddled Musings.

I tweeted:
I was hoping for a Dwarves´ song on the telethon, I settle for cello playing :)
(Didn´t think there was time to practise or screen time for cello playing,
was hoping for something Dwarvish in jeans,
not expecting Dwarf costumes, but hey, they made an effort!)

I retweeted:

To benefit the Rise Up Christchurch Telethon, Servetus will donate for each comment on this post: http://t.co/cqYWzqz

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This post
Dwarves Are Not Gnomes
was a reply to
my previous post
Gnomes Are Not Dwarves

The truth is in there, somewhere.

Screencap: RAnet/Bccmee

Gnomes Are Not Dwarves

Sir Ian McKellen has a blog on which he tells about his observations, like now, working on The Hobbit. His blog had a blogpost in which the phrase ´gnomes are not dwarves´ appeared. I wondered why he would educate his followers, of which a substantial number might know him from Lord Of The Rings already.
I have a clue. Thanks to my speculative brain and that Extras clip, links at end of this post, I imaged a scene like below. You can read that Sir Ian McKellen is shortened as IK and Richard Armitage as RA and the whole thing is intended as a jest. As much as this is my rough idea of the conversation and you all want to spit on it send lovely replies, I safely call this a draft version:

Again: draft version!

SCENE:

Ian McKellen sits, reading. Richard Armitage approaches and joins Sir Ian.

RA: Hi.
IK: Ah, ´Thorin´! How´s preparations going?
RA: Fine, thanks. I understand you maintain a blog.
IK: Blog. Website. Website. Blog. Whatever. So, you´ve seen it, have you? And, like it?
RA: Yes, it´s great, but I come to that later... As I´m new here and signed this  - fist-thick - Hobbit contract - you know it, obviously -
IK: Hm-mm. Mine´s a meter!
RA: I wondered - as you have this - website - how you can post about your observations regarding The Hobbit?
IK: Well, I can - and that´s the joy of it! Why?
RA: I don´t have a blog and don´t want to start it, or be on Facebook or Twitter..
IK: Oh, come on! You do have something?
RA: Yeah, email, but that´s about it. The thing is - my agent recommends - for now - to keep my head down and stick to participating to Sir Peter´s videoblogs -
IK: Ah, yes. Peter And His Videoblogs.
RA: So I would like to ask you to put something for me on your blog. Very informative by the way.
IK: Years of experience!
RA: Blogging? Congratulations!
IK: Well -
RA: It will only be one thing. Allow me to explain. My fans - I hate that word - they´re overall lovely, and a surprising lot very creative - and bright -
IK: Hm-mm. Males or females?
RA: They say they´re women.
IK: Males are the worst! I deal with male fans most of the times. However, never mind, continue.
RA: The one thing they didn´t have to do extensive research for - as I have done, munching over the tiniest details, and they notice everything -
IK: Are you sure they´re not males?
RA: Is to relate Thorin, the Dwarfleader - and his dwarves - to gnomes!
IK: And - gnomes are not dwarves?
RA: Exactly! But they keep doing it. See this cartoon??

IK: Hm. Yes. That´s serious.
RA: It´s just that I don´t want to exclude my fandom from vital information.
IK: I´ll see what I can do.
RA: Thanks! Don´t tell them it was from me, though!
IK: Your fans will probably mock up this conversation as well and talk about it.
RA: By that time there will be something else!

END

Disclaimer:

Normally I would not ever do real fiction, but this RA drought forces me to.

Water!

LOL!

Hope I still have your respect. *ducks*

You don´t have to worry.
This post gave sparkles to new ideas.
And I read The Hobbit now, finally!

http://www.mckellen.com/cinema/hobbit-movie/blog.htm see ´March 31, 2011: Gandalf Is Tested´
I posted my gnomes/dwarves cartoon on February 20, 2011 in ´Fanstrafaganza Cartoons´.
I´m not alone in this. I know that Servetus showed gnomes on her blog too, in between these posts.