Another Guy With A Sword

"These willful wenches go too far"

It's been a while since the gnomes spoke to me again. I had let them down, by letting Sir Guy trespassing the borders of my garden. According to article... sorry can't read that small print.. in their Hobbit re-enactment contract with said partnership of garden owner... again small print... I have violated my own rights to enter my garden and my proximity during re-enactment hours... again small print... and so I had to find a place to, erm, make meatballs. Rest assured I wanted to go back to my own home, I made a plan that hopefully would make everyone at the Gnomes InUnion happy, or whatever they're calling themselves. So recently I graced Sir Guy with a visit.

"Sir Guy", I said.
"You came back for more", he kind of asked.
"I have a request."
"In that case, payment in advance", he said disappointed.
"Would you like to set up a campement to house a little re-enactment play?"
"Artists don't bring in money. They cost money!"
"It's the gnomes. We could let them play outside on the hill. It will contain a big fight if we pretend your castle is mountain Erebor".
"I can... pretend that you and me.."
"Make my plan work", I said, triumphantly handing him my selfmade contract.
"Meaning?"
"You have a couple of lines as the main cameo. It will be over before you know it."
"I don't sign entertainment contracts." Guy threw the contract on the table.
"You'll be the star of the show."
"Stars shine in the sky and the gnomes hate me."
"That will be used to your full glory."
Sir Guy snatched the contract off the table and signed it.
"My glory, hmm?"
"Oh yes. You spit fire like a real dragon, say some lines, crawl on your knees..."
Then Sir Guy showed me his sword fighting skills.

 

 

RETRO POST

Sir Guy of Gisborne is a character Richard Armitage played. You should check it out.

When I started fangurling I came across really great quality pictures of Giz, and HD screencaps.

Was this a screencap or a promo picture I now wonder?

 

** Disclaimer: I don't know why I write this sh*t. The Beard is coming back. That's important news. **

Mr. A Showing His Sword Control - on Anki's Tumblr

 

Facing Misty Mountains

Dear readers, new and old,

Since The Hobbit movie came out, the statistics on my blog showed a new plateau of peaks.
I am staring at these 'Misty Mountains' right now and they make me proud and festive. Just by following Richard Armitage's works of acting in 2009 and starting this blog in 2010 which resulted in hopefully comical twists about his characters, the fan perception and his public persona, I am thrilled that you have found this blog to read and amuse yourselves with.

Yet, over the years, my postings turned out to be solily related to this actor in an idle attempt not to lose his followers. This sweet betrayal to my authentic blogging purpose about acting and storytelling has drawn endless depths in my dark cave of a fangirl's heart. It made my blog into a shrine. Following the 'How To Love Making The Hobbit' course did provide the needed escapism. However, the current crisis makes me want to rant like Charles Dickens did in his days about the social climate.

So I figured, as I hinted last year in one of my posts, either to start a whole new blog, or to add a new layer of humus escribiratea. That's an exclusive for you, readers!

Cheers to a Happy New Year!

A grouphug from your humble servant,

Violet


P.S. I hope more people discover Richard Armitage's excellent acting, as I feel I'm the only one out here to plug him. :) I plugged Martin Freeman before, check it with the search bar.

** Image: one of the best hobbit promo interviews evah. Found on RANet, TFB added the cartoonish wit ** 

Merry Christmas!

This won´t get me a job as graphic designer for FAULT Magazine..

anyway..

this is old style Photoshopping.

Merry Christmas to my readers!

** Image: screencap FAULT Magazine - behind the scenes video **

Impressions Of The Hobbit Part One

"Acting from the heart causes the drama in comedy." - Bradley Cooper
BBC 1 The One Show 18 Dec. 2012
OK, wrong actor quote.

Warning: spoilers! Shameless dumping of movie details!!

Imagine you're sitting at home writing your diary as Bilbo does, thinking over a grim scene with a group that happened years ago. You remember them as troubled by their own flaws, demons and sorrows and reject good intentions. First impressions of them can give a distorted perception. Best not to hammer on the distortion as being the truth, yet grab the chance to adjust. No time is wasted to make two people friends. Heck, be a Dwarfleader about it: "I could never be more so wrong". 

Middle Earth isn't that big in scale when you do leave your hobbit home. You will never know if you ever come back, but isn't that part of the adventure? You might find friends who will travel with you for some time. Friends you won't normally recognize as such. Just help them find their gold back and grieve with them over their losses.

So, here I am at Bag End, cheering at Richard Armitage's success, together with ardent RA fans and customized Hobbit enthusiasts, I open the door for you, as long as you promise no to throw with my plates.

An unexpected journey

An unexpected journey it will be, so I advice you to travel light. As I have learned in the course of following The-Hobbit-We-Love-Making-Franchise, it's best to avoid TV spots, reviews, interviews and red carpet flirtations. Take the trailer with you, that's all you need. Even Sir Pete's Vidblogs are best to ignore as various shots were not even used in this first movie of this trilogy. Don't read that hobbit book. If you must, read until chapter six. Be warned, knowledge distracts the thoughts.

The prologue: meeting Thorin, or, rather 'Thorin'

Meeting the Dwarves was quite an experience. The two LOTR-fans who wanted to see it with me, couldn't or wouldn't go, so I went alone. Did I initially choose to buy a 2D-ticket, I managed to change it in time for the later that evening showing in 3D 24fps. Then I found myself seated at the edge of the row slightly at the back next to a bearded man of roughly my age. 'Thorin' informed me that only 23 seats were unsold of the 400-so seats. The majority of the audience, 2/3 were male, aged 20-30, up to 40+. the rest were females of the same ages. 2D would be much calmer to watch as 3D unsharpened the fast movements in the action scenes and it made the dutch subtitles lavitating.

First half

The movie starts off with Ian Holm as Bilbo in his hobbit home. A peaceful setting and he is writing in his diary. Then I didn't take notice for one or two sentences, because suddenly, the scene got replaced by a dark, grim fortress which got violently attacked by what? And there is Thorin/RA! WHOAH! Wasn't this later on? Forget the book story, throw it out the window! Thorin being powerlessly defeaten, the gold is stolen, it really pains him, the overwhelming useless attacks on his people, which made me root for him instantly, is all very effectively done and moving.
Then, back to the hobbit home, boring, oh it's sixty years earlier, and there's Martin Freeman, yay. Then the scene which is in the trailer, but now extended, the encounter with Gandalf the wizzard and especially the Dwarves who come in one by one, sort of. Totally forgot from the book that Thorin had a meeting, this came across as a casual remark, no image at all of a round table type gathering to show how important this was. So possible it was just a regular meeting. The plates throwing by the Dwarves was a nice show-off of effective teamwork, although Bilbo didn't like it and Thorin would ignore it. The two songs were great and especially the Misty Mountains song made the audience quiet. Bilbo gets a contract which horrid conditions makes him faint, which was played funny by MF.
The fight with the Orcs was wonderful with Thorin, and the sleepover on the hill was witty and scary.
The empty barnhouse where the group touched the porch, made me wonder that in the book they all went inside and met a character and only then Gandalf said he had to do a detour of some sort, so that ate my memory.
Radagast the brown wizzard was like a fairytale figure with these cute animals.
Conclusion first half: clear stand-out scenes by introducing different characters, moods and settings. Ended the first half with one tear in one eye.

Losing it

The second half was like sitting on a galloping horse. Too much impressions.

PJ likes threesomes. Thorin has three fight scenes with The Oakenshield, a piece of wood which RA suggested for his character, according to his promo interviews. Bilbo has three scenes in which he lies on his side and awakens in a closeup shot.

The Eagles were beautifully and realistically filmed, like watching the Earthflight tv series.

The eery, dark moods of the place where ghosts were brought to life was well pictured. The Elven's statue looked like the statues of those at the gate of that lake in LOTR. The manlike figure with Thorin later fought against, looked like it was designed by the CGI people of the Avatar movie.

The stone-throwing giants were amusing yet impressing, like the walking trees in LOTR.

The Goblin king looked delightfully gross, while Dwarves don't need to burp!

A lof of room for violent action in the second half, and it was not a moment too long, yet I dearly missed the cross-country banter between the Dwarves and Bilbo, to awkwardly get to know eachother, and also as viewer to take in and enjoy their unique appearances. Maybe it was in there.

Overall conclusion

The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey in 3D 24 fps: 8.5/10
Impressive, funny, moving, crowded, a galloping horse.

After years of struggle Peter Jackson finally brings The Hobbit to the screens. The public relations machine showed a humble director, writer and cast thanking the fans in advance for their trust.
The first hobbit movie continues carrying PJ's visual signature, recognisible from the LOTR movies.
While the book's story is told straightforward without much explanations, the movie has a wonderful showcase of digital fantasy. The real landscapes of New Zealand were breathtaking just as the fantasy landscapes, and like seeing all these weird creatures. However when it mattered to be breathtaking, there were moments in The Hobbit that felt off, on first viewing. Those moments were felt when Bilbo, or some Dwarves, hung unto their dear lives on edges or at the wizzard's stick in abysses, which did not evoke a feeling of nailbiting urgency. The Goblin's cave showed an endless depth, which caves not necessary have. Dark caves with fragile bridges are a bit typical in movies.
The Dwarves have fantastic individual looks which were promoted far in advance, yet in this movie there was not enough banter between the Dwarves; the story of the film preferred action scenes. In total shots the focus was hard to find.
Martin Freeman as Bilbo is a natural choice and although his profile may skyrock after this movie, it doesn't seem to be a big leap to act on world stage. For the other actors who didn't appear in LOTR, it will certainly give them a bigger profile, with Richard Armitage playing Thorin as the stand-out guy. His portrayal as Thorin as the proud, yet defeated king was epic and moving. Andy Serkis brought the beloved Gollum back to life to play riddles with Bilbo.
However all in all an effective tearjerker was missed. Not much sentimentalism was played out in part one of The Hobbit movie which merely gave an introduction of the characters and settings. PJ will no doubtedly get there in The Hobbit part three as he did in the final movie of the LOTR trilogy.

Next up: part Two and Three

More Thorin! Not enough in part one! And this is not me being biased about some actor.
I don't know if I will shed a tear for Thorin. I give RA not the chance to make me teary.
My eyes watered seeing movies like The Bucket List (2006) and The Ultimate Gift (2006).

A whole year to wait for the next movie: The Desolation of Smaug (with devastating Thorin!) and and another half year for part 3, The Battle of the Five Armies (spoiler: the war on the stolen gold).
Thankfully, in the tenth Vidblog, PJ was so nice to promise he will keep in touch - and otherwise the 'Warner Brother suits' will remind him.

Edit: this post is a mixup of my review and impressions. I read the book only once, until chapter six, and have seen this movie only once also.

** Image: Dwarfleader promotion tour: the Apple Store London, Q and A, 10 Dec. 2012 **

Old Rich On An Adventure

It was a windy autumn evening when the little men of that Hobbit re-enactment play in my back garden - gnomes, not dwarves - hurdled up in front of my fire place, suggested to shave off their beards. 'If you do, your life will never be the same', I remarked. 'We have to be ready for stubble love - yours, or worldwide', they mumbled. 'Besides, you keep staring at that man', they groaned. 'Old Rich', I said with a warm, golden voice. 'May he travel safe. He is on an adventure.'

** Image obtained through RAnet, TFB added a warm, golden touch **

 

An Interview With One Fan

Misquoted Thorin:
"If more of us valued fangurrrling and cheer and song above hoarded gold,
it would be a merrier world."

"I said food, not fangurrrling!!"

The Hobbit has all sorts of fans and so does Mr. A. If you count yourself lucky to be a fan or follower, then you might like reading fan interviews.  Now be ready, because TFB is gonna throw this thing against the wall... and you may not like it... because TFB watched too many really gross American comedies lately, and got badly influenced. 

The One fan can be female or male, so let's prefer the fangurrrl.

 

 

TFB: Hi, we talked over the phone. (reaches out to shake hands) I still don´t know your name.
One: Please, stick to THE ONE (shakes hands)
TFB: OK, The One (talks in voicerecorder: `Maintain ´One´)
One: (looks up)
TFB: Where shall we sit? Here?
One: Yeah, uh, alright.
TFB: One, first your reaction on RA as Dwarfleader Thorin.
One: Beard love!
TFB: What´s with the beard love?
One: (strokes beard with hands) I kinda like it. I grew it to sympathize with The Hobbit cast, far away in New Zealand filming this 3D monster of a movie..
TFB: Two movies! No, three movies!
One: You can count!
TFB: And write! But back on the beard topic. How did you get that beard so natural? Hormone pills?
One: Yeah, great, huh? (hikes skirt) I am now a female Dwarf.
TFB: (in Hobbit awe mode) A female Dwarf! You´ve read Tolkien´s footnotes!
One: So you know that Dwarves have females with beards! (leans forward) But in PJ´s version... (whispers) no romantic Dwarf love.
TFB: Are you putting up a smoke screen?
One: Good idea! (lights a long brown pipe) Yeah, well. (takes a few suckings, then exhales slowly)
TFB: Why do you smoke a pipe?
One: Fits with the character.
TFB: What character?
One. The one you bring forward on your blog!
TFB: (exaggerated) I can write whatever I like!
One: Oh really?! Why don´t you write some explicit love scenes?
TFB: Should I?
One: Want input? (exclaims) ´The Dwarf who shagged me`.
TFB: (coughs) It´s probably been done...
One: What? By whom?
TFB: I can´t tell you.
One: You suck.
TFB: No, you. You´re pipe needs tending after.
One: Oh thanks. (does heavy recovery on pipe) Well, where was I?
TFB: You being a female Dwarf?
One: If they are gonna change their minds... I am ready to be one!
TFB: (coughs) Hmm. Talking about one, you´re known as the One, why?
One: Once upon a time there was this actor I encountered and since then he keeps mentioning me.
TFB: I only found two or three mentions.
One: I had hoped he would keep it down.
TFB: You don´t think he did?
One: Officially yes, so I´m grateful.
TFB: You have stated to be called the One.
One: It must be me. I do grant every fan their chance meet with Mr. A, don´t get me wrong.
TFB: You referred to an encounter. Tell us more.
One: Sorry, these things are private.
TFB: You proclaimed him your respect.
One: Naturally.
TFB: You gave him a compliment.
One: Oh yeah.
TFB: You left him on his own.
One: What do you think?
TFB: What´s wrong about that?
One: (sighs) I could not believe I behaved like that!
TFB: How?
One: So.. so... so.. lost for words.... idiotic.. it was highly embarrassing! (knocks with pipe on the table)
TFB: So you did what?
One: Grow a beard! Helps me to be incognito. (plays with facial hair)
TFB: (stares)
One: Oh, you mean that! Walk on and ignore the fact for a whole year.
TFB: And then?
One: Own it. So I wrote him the letter.
TFB: In which you included at least chocolate and underpants, I dare hope? (winks at One)
One: No, no! I wouldn't... (looks worried) You think? (whispers) I didn't get the reply.
TFB: Maybe that's a compliment.
One: Maybe he glanced over it and still likes my weirdness. (smiles hopeful)
TFB: Who knows? Does it matter?
One: If it was his Mum that reads these letters, I hope I haven't upset his Mum.
TFB: Should I issue a formal apology on my blog for you?
One: (blushes) Must I? Sorry, I won't do it again, Mr. A - 's Mum.
TFB: I doubt it. RA tends to consider you to think of him as a piece of meat.
One: You take that back!
TFB: It's in the article, so it must be true!
One: I'm the last person who would think such a thing! In fact, he stated his fans were all so diverse! Besides, I do have my own set of male fans, thank you very much!
TFB: I don´t have time to hear about these sort of fan encounters.
One: (suddenly is fed up) You know what, I don´t have time for you as well! (stumbles over TFB, drops pipe and picks it up from the floor)
TFB: By the way, did you ask for an autograph?
One: No, I didn't ask for an autograph... Being mentioned is the highest regard! Although I could do with his convincing, romantic... (kisses pipe intensely)
TFB: (sighs) I think we're done.

Note of the editor:

The One shouldn't ask to be singled out, however the intention comes from a good heart.

TFB found mentions of ´One` in a letter of 24th December
and in one interview 'More Than Just Spy Candy' (both from 2010)

 TFB remains to be a sane observer of RA's acting and his following.

 

 

Picture: from The Hobbit Movie promotion (WB) with a magic touch by TFB

August Is Hot: Keeper Of The Sword

"I´m Thorin Oakenshield, keeper of the sword Orcrist"

AUGUST IS HOT

Theme: Should We Know You?

Read the official version of the third Hobbit film as requested by RA fans here!

It´s called The Hobbit: Keeper Of The Sword.

The producers will talk you through the film.

Please don't read if you're a die-hard Hobbit fan.

First we'll see the intro...

Officially we'll have to introduce that story mentioned in the top 100 best read children's books to you. So.. Thorin Oakenshield is a grumpy warrior leader of Dwarves. He was asked by wizard Gandalf to escort a certain hungry Hobbit to the end of the book, but he fails by prematurely dying. His life lacks a bit of womanly dwarfhood and that´s kind of refreshing. No sensual excercises. Instead healthy, safe, childfriendly fantasy storytelling to which we all can relate to, if have you been in dark woods before and catched some spiders.. or worse if they catch you...! But you know all that, if you watched The Hobbit 1 and 2 by then. So number 3 is finally starting, like now!

The main story...

The story focuses on why Thorin Oakenshield is so grumpy. Is it the story of a warrior, following his bloodline back to ancestors who had their battles to fight? We'll see some of that.. Amidst there is this hint of an emerging love story with this Dwarf woman, which fails because.. she has a beard! Tragic, tragic, dear fans, but we swiftly move on to another love interest, or is it? Thorin's love story gets larded with awkward misunderstandings, silent conversations, revealing blushings.... "In The Hobbit?!", you asked us online. We feared no-one except geeks would watch this movie.

On his trips to strange lands Thorin Oakenshield encountered a creature, so sublime, no words were needed. We'll see the ray of golden sunshine surrounding her smiling face with her hair moving in slow motion and she doesn´t have to say anything, because we all know she is special. She is called The Keeper of the Kiss. Well, in the script anyway.

It happened on a path through dense woodworks. Thorin Oakenshield was very tired and sad. He was contemplating about all the things that happened to him. Here, we'll insert some flashbacks from The Hobbit movies 1 and 2. We still have to decide which ones. Then, suddenly, he didn't notice, there's someone coming towards him. When he looks up, the innocent looking creature is cheerful and eyes at him. He invites her with a head tilt. We'll see a close up of her feet. First, her left foot stepping forward, then her right foot, then we see his left foot stepping in. She moves her face from the ground up and sees that he has to tilt his head back a bit, because she is fairly tall and coming way too close. He doesn't give in. Neither does she (!). He moves his face into her, ready for a kiss. She finds herself looking at his upper lip next to his nose and doesn't know if the intention is to kiss him on the cheek or on the upper lip, which is way to informal. We'll see a close-up of their faces. Panning out with a blurring background, creating the feel of being in the centre of the universe. We have to ask for extra budget how to film that in 3D with a camera whisking around them. Their silence fades all notions of time. She looks up, teasingly into his eyes, then resumes to her original position. She repeats this a couple of times. He finds himself caught looking away, initially whispering "Shit!". You´ll hear that word in the outtakes on the DVD extra´s. We will have to find a replacement for that word.. We hope that you as viewer will sense that if it really was a first kiss to a potential boyfriend, their noses had to move a little bit closer. She gasps. He gasps too, but it sounds like he is copying her more than it´s for real. She then starts humming. She full well knows he patiently waits to be kissed, but his attempt looks like a dutyful kissing offer, so it could use a bit of sparkle... We know you'll still be with us on this scene, so we've decided to prolong this moment and let her step back a bit while dropping her eyelashes on him. We'll see it from his view. Her face, so effortlessly in thoughts.. What goes on behind her eyes, we can only guess... She, still with her eyes closed, exhales, because, let's face it, it's quite the greeting! She then waits... He can only step aside, thinking what to do next, not to be that entangled in emotions. He exhales too, which she can't see but hear too well... What a beautiful kissing offer! She opens her eyes and catches her breath. She pretends that she is very surprised, even shocked by his reaction. She ends it with a couple of flirty winks. He then lifts his chin, smiles and blushes. He gives her a good look, takes some steps, then looks over his shoulder to give her another good look. Then, the Dwarfleader who fought Orcs, walks away!! So, that is one exclusive scene we can give you!

The ending..

We'll see Thorin sitting with Bilbo at the fire place in one of the lodges, telling him this wonderful tale and smiling mysteriously. Bilbo says he doesn´t believe Thorin, because he is never without his group of Dwarves! Besides, Bilbo has more important tales to tell, and is getting hungry! Thorin gets angry and tosses his sword on the floor. We'll see that the rest of the film is stuffed with one exciting Bilbo tale, which will be revealed in the upcoming Hobbit Teaser Trailers!!!

The explanation of the title..

We know that Thorin Oakenshield is keeper of the sword Orcrist, so why did he left his sword at the fire place? Oops, spoilers! Not only did he and Bilbo had to chase through Middle Earth, there was Gollum again who exchanged it for one of the Elven's crossbows. Finally, Thorin finds his sword, promising Gandalf to bring Orcrist home in one piece.

Thorin Oakenshield: "I cannot guarantee his safety."
Gandalf: "Understood."

Thorin Oakenshield: "Nor will I be responsible for it´s fate."

Disclaimer:
Uh, okay, I never intented a love story for The Hobbit. That would make it totally ridiculous.
Expect a new Hobbit trailer in September.

Picture: from The Hobbit Movie promotion with a magic touch by TFB